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Global: Ballad of a Sore Loser

January 17, 2013

To the tune of The Battle Hymn of the Republic by Julia Ward Howe

Dedicated to Satoshi Kanazawa and all his jealous colleagues.

Mine eyes have seen the rise of Richard Dawkins to a place
Where he’s regarded as a hero and a credit to his race.
I’ve seen students wearing t-shirts with a picture of his face,
His fame is rolling on!

Richard Dawkins, how I hate you!
How I love to denigrate you!
Just don’t ask me to debate you!
Your fame keeps rolling on!

Now, I have been an atheist since nineteen-eighty-three
But I kept it quiet so nobody would think the worse of me.
Dawkins shouts it from the rooftops — and they show him on TV!
His fame keeps rolling on!

Richard Dawkins, I abhor you!
But somehow I can’t ignore you!
Soon my hit rate will outscore you,
When someone reads my blog!

His arguments are simple and his writing style is tight,
He’s shown a lot of doubting theists how to see the light,
And the most annoying thing is that the bastard’s always right!
His fame keeps rolling on!

Richard Dawkins, how I loathe you!
And the books that feed and clothe you.
I’d join the theists who oppothe you,
If I didn’t hate them too!

If only I had spoken out before the Dawkins lark,
Then I would be the atheist who’d really made his mark,
I’d be married to a TV star and featured on South Park,
My fame would roll along!

Richard Dawkins, I despise you!
Why on earth should that surprise you?
You’re brave, articulate and wise — you
‘re everything I’m not!

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One Comment
  1. awesome dedication.

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