If you guessed ‘global warming alarmists’, you’re right. But here’s another: Continue reading
Category Archives: Animals
Australia: Feral camels are smelly, dangerous and disruptive..
…but that’s not why we want to kill them.
A plan to give carbon credits for slaughtering camels, curbing emissions coming from their flatulence, was rejected by an Australian government committee.
The proposal by Northwest Carbon Pty, a land and animal management consultant, didn’t provide clear instructions for protecting animal welfare, and the method for assessing emission reductions was incomplete, according to a report by the Domestic Offsets Integrity Committee published yesterday on the Department of Climate Change and Energy Efficiency’s website.
Fantastically stupid and pointless, no problem. Incomplete — a no-no. Now go back and fill out those forms in triplicate properly, guys.
US: This week’s Good Cause
Do we detect a hint of cynicism?
Hi! :^) Brytni Ambyr* is an attractive blonde female out to save the gender-neutral kittens of the world from abuse by global warming through Happy Thoughts. Have you ever thought about what it would like to be forced to wear little fur coats through an endless summer? That’s like so cruel! :^(
Brytni will use your generous contributions to create lots of Happy Thoughts! She wishes she could save every little sweet creature. But she will do what she can to be Happy! and use your donations to be Happy! and save the ones she can. Aside from Happy Thoughts!, she will also do her part by adopting a gender-neutral kitten (or even a gendered kitti, and spaying/neutering it), and treating it sooo nice. She’ll give it love, treats, and a nice air-conditioned place to live. This will make Brytni AND the kitten Happy!! Double-plus-good Happy Thoughts! Enough Happy Thoughts and Happy Cats may even hold off the global warming!
No, surely not.
Australia: Three things to chant while you stick your fingers in your ears
Ken Ham — the gift that keeps on giving!
“Millions of years” should set off a mental buzzer that says, “warning—this is an attack on biblical authority—this is a buzz word to say there was no global Flood.”
“Evolution” should set off a mental buzzer that says, “warning—this is an attack on biblical authority—this is a buzz word to say creation by God was wrong.”
“Feathered dinosaurs” should set off another mental buzzer that says, “warning—an attack on biblical authority—this is a buzz word to say creation by God was wrong.”
According to the true history book of the universe—the Bible—birds were made on Day 5, and dinosaurs (which are land animals) were made on Day 6. So birds existed before dinosaurs. But evolutionists claim dinosaurs existed before birds!
And according to the ‘true history book of the universe’, the God you believe in is a selfish, jealous, vindictive, genocidal psychopath, but you don’t see me pointing that out, do you?
Oh, wait, I just did.
Cambodia: Animists buffaloed by Christianity
Tithing: You’re doing it wrong.
At upwards of US$500, the cost of slaughtering a buffalo to revive a relative condemned to ill-health by the spirits has pushed the Jarai indigenous minority residents of Somkul village in Ratanakkiri to a more affordable religious option: Christianity.
In the village in O’Yadav district’s Som Thom commune, about 80 per cent of the community have given up on spirits and ghosts in favour of Sunday sermons and modern medicine.
Sev Chel, 38, said she made the switch because when she used to get sick, it could cost her hundreds of dollars to appease the gods with a sacrificial package that might include a cow or buffalo, a chicken, bananas, incense and rice wine.
“So if I sold that buffalo and took the money to pay for medicine, it is about 30,000 riel to 40,000 riel [for them to] get better, so we are strong believers in Jesus,” she said. “If I did not believe in Jesus, maybe at this time I would still be poor and not know anything besides my community.”
US: Why would anyone do this vicious, pointless thing?
The cat died soon afterwards.
Because they’re Mormons, apparently.
A live cat was found recently half-buried in concrete, and the man who rescued the kitten believes it was a message from a pro-polygamy religious group.
The cat was discovered encased in concrete at the home of Isaac Wyler, a former member of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (FDLS), at his home in Colorado City, Arizona.
The FDLS is one of the largest fundamentalist Mormon denominations and split from the Church of the Latter Day Saints over their suspension of the practice of polygamy and its decision to excommunicate its members who would continue the practice.
US: This just in…
…the Great Spirit hates eagles.
The U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service has taken the unusual step of issuing a permit allowing a Native American tribe to kill two bald eagles for religious purposes.
The agency’s decision comes after the Northern Arapaho Tribe in Wyoming filed a federal lawsuit last year contending the refusal to issue such permits violates tribal members’ religious freedom.
Although thousands of Native Americans apply for eagle feathers and carcasses from a federal repository, permits allowing the killing of bald eagles are exceedingly rare, according to both tribal and legal experts on the matter.
That Great Spirit is doing a bang-up job! Better keep him happy!
And ‘Federal Repository’ is just the right length and metre for a line in Hiawatha:
“On the shores of Lake Potomac,
Home to eagle beaks and feathers,
Toenails of endangered beavers,
Pronghorn antlers, roadkill rattlers –
Federal Repository!
Thither journeyed Hiawatha,
Seeking for a mighty magic.”
US: Pastor charged with animal cruelty after cat thrown from bridge
BASTROP, Texas — A Central Texas pastor is being accused of throwing a neighbor’s cat off of a bridge.
Rick Bartlett, pastor of the Bastrop Christian Church, is facing animal cruelty charges. Bastrop Police Chief Michael Black said Bartlett admitted that he caught the cat, named Moody, in a trap on Sunday, Jan. 15. Bartlett told them that he was having a problem with feral cats in his garden.
Moody also told police that he had the cat in a cage in the back of his pick-up truck for three days and forgot about him until Tuesday, Jan. 17., when Bartlett brought the cat to police. An animal control officer noticed a name tag including the phone number of Moody’s owners, Sarah and Eddy Bell, on the cat’s collar.
The officer offered to take Moody back to his owners but police said Bartlett told them he’d take the cat back himself since they were his neighbors.
Later on the same day, a park visitor discovered Moody’s near lifeless body on the bank of the Colorado River, some 40-50 feet below a bridge.
What really baffles me is how people who can do things like this ever get into positions of trust and respect.
“Well, I think that concludes the recruitment interview, Reverend. Now, is there anything more you would like to tell us?”
“Yes. I set traps for cats in my garden.”
Of course, the number of candidates for pastorships must be falling off rapidly, even in the US: they probably have to take what they can get, poor dears.
Jordan: Middle Eastern princess gives Australia tips on civilised behaviour
The King of Jordan’s sister has been asking Australia’s Agriculture Department to stop the slaughter of conscious animals for halal meat.
Princess Alia bint al-Hussein of Jordan, the sister of King Abdullah II of Jordan, wants Australia to make the stunning of animals mandatory before they are slaughtered.
Because being religious doesn’t mean inflicting as much suffering as possible on all around you.
Oh, wait…
US: Praise God and pass the stun-gun!
Hey, killing animals is not just fun — it’s pious!
The first function of sacrifice is to heighten the consciousness of the one who brings the offering. In every relationship, part of the measure of love is the willingness to forgo; I will sacrifice sleep, food, time, money, almost anything for someone whom I love. A sacrifice of negligible worth is no certain sign of devotion. Love is demanding; the lover must offer something valuable. In ancient Israel, offering the products of labor — crops, animals — showed deep connection. Love for God was demonstrated by the readiness to give one’s most valuable possessions.
So — why stop at animals?
Australia: Respect for animals, or respect for religion?
THE meat industry has joined animal welfare groups in opposing the religious slaughter of sheep while they are conscious, amid calls to ban the “unnecessary and unconscionable” practice in Australia.
…
The Australian Meat Industry Council chairman, Terry Nolan, said it was in the industry’s “best interests to have the most humane treatment of animals”.Rabbi Mordechai Gutnick, from Kosher Australia, said calls to ban such practices were motivated in part by ignorance and anti-semitism.
Which should we respect, animals or theists? They both squeal when they’re under threat, but only animals make rational efforts to escape.
Israel: Jewish court sentences dog to death by stoning
A JERUSALEM rabbinical court has condemned to death by stoning a dog it suspects is the reincarnation of a secular lawyer who insulted the court’s judges 20 years ago….
Despite attempts to drive the dog out of the court, the hound refused to leave the premises.
One of the sitting judges then recalled a curse the court had passed down upon a secular lawyer who had insulted the judges two decades previously.
Their preferred divine retribution was for the lawyer’s spirit to move into the body of a dog, an animal considered impure by traditional Judaism.
Clearly still offended, one of the judges sentenced the animal to death by stoning by local children.
Because, you know, you have to do something to keep the kids amused.
Besides, they never did like that son-of-a-bitch.
US: “Mom! Freddy’s poking me with Boils again!”
Passover Ten Plagues Finger Puppets.
I’m… speechless.
US: Woman hangs and burns dog for chewing on Bible
SMH.
Authorities have charged a US woman with felony animal cruelty, saying she hanged her nephew’s pit bull from a tree with an electrical cord and burned its body because the dog chewed on her Bible.
Animal control officers said 65-year-old Miriam Smith told them she killed a female dog named Diamond because it was a “devil dog” and she worried it could harm neighbourhood children.
Pit bull? Maybe she has a point.
US: God kills fish and birds because he hates gays
It could be because we have said it’s okay for people who commit these kinds of acts to be recognized in our military for the first time in our history, there is a potential that there is something that actually happened in the land where a hundred thousand drum fish died and also where these birds just fell out of the air.
Or maybe he just hates fish and birds too.
UK: Why Jewish and Moslem cows should be happy to die in agony
Johann Hari – The Independent.
Kosher butchers never numb their animals. Most halal butchers now use some stunning, but the RSPCA warns that it is at a much lower dosage to guarantee the animal is still alive when it is killed – so it doesn’t properly protect them from pain. The attempts by religious people to explain this away and claim it is in fact a kindness to the animal are a pseudo-science: the intelligent design of animal welfare. That’s why making meat like this is a crime in countries from Spain to New Zealand, where an ethnically Jewish Prime Minister banned it this year.
Yet in Britain this kind of animal cruelty is becoming standard. Over the past few years, there has been a dramatic abandonment of the numbing of animals before killing them, in the name of “respect” for a religious minority. The BBC’s You And Yours programme says that halal meat now “accounts for around a quarter of the UK’s meat trade”. It is served unlabelled and as standard meat in Wembley Stadium, Twickenham, on all British Airways flights, at Nando’s, Subway, KFC, Pizza Hut, Domino’s Pizza and even swanky Ascot racecourse. There has been a huge expansion, then, in the suffering of living creatures – and we are supposed to applaud it as an advance for tolerance.
And it’s also the religious who engage in genital mutilation and object to euthanasia. Obviously you just can’t have too much suffering for some people.
Indonesia: Muslim authorities may ban catshit coffee
Kopi Luwak is made from beans fermented in the stomach of a civet cat, extracted from their dung and then roasted.
While it can fetch as much as $200 a pound, it’s that middle bit in the production process that has Indonesia’s top Islamic body concerned.
It’s considering banning Muslims from drinking the brew. The council’s acting chief says the worry is that coffee might be unclean. He notes that approval is possible, assuming farmers clean the beans before they are ground.
Might be unclean? It’s made from cat droppings and it might be unclean? What would it have to be made from before they were sure?
First they take away our guns. Then they take away our catshit coffee…
Egypt: Two-headed calf a ‘divine miracle’
World news – Africa – msnbc.com.
El-Ganzoury said the veterinarian informed him that the calf, which was born this week, is now in stable condition and is expected to survive. He said he intends to keep the animal as a reminder that “God is able to do anything.”
The calf still can’t stand up because of its heavy heads and weak legs, and is being fed her mother’s milk with a baby bottle.
‘Anything’ — except make a two-headed calf that can stand up.
Indonesia: Transformed cow seduces man
Well, that’s his story and he’s sticking to it…
On Friday, Alit underwent a cleansing ritual in which he was bathed and the cow was drowned in the sea to rid the village of bad luck.
Isn’t it always the way? The woman gets the blame every time.
Malaysia: ‘God made animals for testing’
SMH.
…Malacca Chief Minister Mohamad Ali Rustam said on Monday the lab had received state approval, and animal testing was necessary to make drugs. The project is still in the planning phase.
“God created animals for the benefits of human beings. That’s why he created rats and monkeys … We cannot test on human beings,” he said.
God in his wisdom made the fly,
And then forgot to tell us why.
Says the monkey injected with typhoid fever,
“Who the hell made the True Believer?”
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