“Wonderful boob job, darling, but why only one? — No, sorry, that’s Alain’s head.”
Having failed in his attempt to persuade atheists to be nice people, professional self-publicist Alain de Botton now wants to be recognised as the human face of porn.
The writer intends to meet with leaders in porn and the arts in order to bring about a better kind of pornography.
“Ideally, porn would excite our lust in contexts which also presented other, elevated sides of human nature – in which people were being witty, for instance, or showing kindness, or working hard or being clever – so that our sexual excitement could bleed into, and enhance our respect for these other elements of a good life.” he said.
“And if you can put me in touch with that flexible redhead with the tremendous norks, that would be better still.”
And do read the comments — they’re hilarious.
Update 2012-08-01: Through his tireless devotion to self-aggrandizement, de Botton has now spun a book out of this. It’s not an improvement.
Our new line is very popular with lawyers defending Catholic priests
… therefore I will cater to his fetish.
Attorney Cheryl Bormann… is defending Walid bin Attash, one of five top al-Qaida operatives on trial in Guantanamo Bay for allegedly conspiring in the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks. The five men, who have come to be known collectively as the Gitmo 5, were arraigned there Saturday.
It was then that Bormann gained national notice, and a measure of criticism, for appearing in court in traditional Muslim clothing that left only her face showing and for asking one woman on the government team to consider dressing more modestly so her client could focus on the proceedings….
For her, the issue is a simple one of respecting the religious and cultural beliefs of a client. She said that since she was appointed to bin Attash’s case last year, she has always dressed conservatively out of deference to a client who believes he will violate a religious tenet if he looks at a woman who is immodestly dressed.
“My client has never seen my hair, has never seen my arms, has never seen my legs,” Bormann said in an interview Monday. “All of the defense counsel, all of the guards and everybody who works in Guantanamo Bay camp has seen me dressed like this. … I never thought in my wildest dreams that this would become an issue.”
Maybe your dreams should get out more.
Women are people too: deal with it.